One step at a time

I am going to (seem to) contradict everything I said in post #2, bear with me. I want to remind you, despite their (basic) adult behaviors the Narcissist is a very young, wounded child, emotionally. Their emotional development got off track very early in life and their coping mechanism was to become completely focused on self.  Their every thought, issue and action is directed at self.  Self preservation, self appreciation, self approval.  They simply can not function any other way.  This is important to understand, to protect your heart.  For YOUR healing and for theirs.  This is not meant to say excuse them or allow them into your life  No!  Having a relationship with a Narcicisst is navigating a minefield, at best.  With God ... carefully  ... you can do it.  And, I believe, with His help we can offer them help and healing.  I am still not sure exactly how but, I am beginning to see a dim light at the end of the ...

My mother worked in the newspaper industry for most of her life.  I helped the last few years.  I spent many nights up late typing, cutting and pasting. In the years before computers took over the world, to lay out a newspaper for print you had to "Cut and Paste".  You typed, printed out and carefully cut the words you needed then pasted them on a "Master" page that would be copied final print Someone I am praying for (and love) is going through a rough time.  They are in error and stubbornly refuse to consider counsel, wisdom or the possibility they are wrong.  Their life is falling apart and my spirit is grieved.  Last night I had a dream.  This person was cutting verses out of a bible and pasting them in a spiral notebook.  Making their own Bible.  It had a verse or two on each "page".  The verse he was specifically cutting out, this time, was Deuteronomy 8:18.  "But remember the Lord your God, for it is He w...

The "afterglow of forgiveness".  Often we open our hearts back up to the same person who hurt us thinking that is forgiveness.  NO. Forgiveness is forgiveness and has little to do with them.  Relationships cannot be restored without the offender making an effort and restoring your trust. To forgive means to release.  You release you and, you release them.  Matthew 18:32 It does not mean allow them in your home, necessarily. It does not mean carry on a conversation with them, necessarily. It does not mean go shopping with them, necessarily. It does not mean any spend time with them, necessarily. It does not mean trust them with your heart, thoughts or attention, necessarily. God will encourage us, as part of the healing process to reach out to those who have offended us, we must use caution.  Extreme caution. Loving a Narcissist means you are constantly yearning for their love.  You are constantly seeking their affection.  When you h...

The first thing I want to say to you, reading this is ... "I am so sorry."  If you love or have ever loved a Narcissistic person, you have been hurt ... badly.   Sadly, I know very well.  I am hurting too.  You have been given promises that were broken and you are in pain.  I am so sorry and I am so glad you and I have help and hope.  In some ways, you may hurt all your life.  Seeing the scenario on TV you were denied.   Wishing the one you loved had given you  the love you (truly did) deserve.  You will spend your life wondering if they are going to "come to" and become ... simply .... a loving person.  I don't know.  If the Narcicisst you love is dead, then you have your answer.  Truly tragic to see people live and die in so much confusion and darkness that they refuse the love offered them "hand over fist" but, the Narcissist does.  He / She rejects and rebuffs each and every opportu...