Daddy’s Home

 

When God designed the family He knew what He was doing.

There’s a reason Mom’s are (generally) sympathetic.  There’s a reason Dads are (generally) “no nonsense”.   He designed the family and home with all the elements necessary to create a healthy human physically, mentally and spiritually.

When a child is growing up their body, soul and spirit are forming.  They are becoming a tri level human being.  Their home environment is nurturing their body and their inner man to maturity.  God created the love in a family in such a way as to nurture a healthy human body, soul and spirit. 

I understand there are some very sad situations in families.  This is not the article to address any of that.  This is insight into how God created family and how we need family to be.

Heavenly Father created a family environment and hierarchy to craft a healthy soul and mind.  In God’s system a child is nurtured, primarily, by the more patient and sympathetic parent, the mother.  They are the primary caregiver, teacher, correcter and disciplinarian.  However, when problems escalate she calls in back up.  Back up is usually absent most of the day.  Whether it is work, farming, helping govern or off to war, Daddy is not usually home all day.  But eventually … Daddy comes home. 

Mom’s (generally) discipline on a much “lower” level.  Pats on a toddler’s bottom.  Reprimands, removing privileges, etc.  Mom’s usually give children many chances to “get it right” but, there comes a moment when Mom has been provoked, frustrated and exhausted beyond reason.  She has tried everything she could think of and she has to have help.  She needs backup.  She needs Dad. 

Healthy Dad relationships have an element of strong authority that a Mom usually can not achieve.  It is a spiritual thing and it is a natural thing.  Dads don’t tolerate too many excuses, Dads aren’t generally concerned if you “feel” like cleaning your room.  Dads have an ability to see the bigger picture (in many instances) more than a more sympathetic Mom.  Dads understand your tears over cleaning are not as painful as the future, this lack of character is creating, will be. 

I am sure we all know families where this is not the case.  Families were Mom seems to be the stronger disciplinarian or Dad stays home and nurtures the children.  I have not seen that be a successful model of a family.  A woman’s emotional “make up” is not designed for that stress.  A man’s emotional “make up” is not designed to be “provided for”.  Women often are forced to “pick up the mantel” of disciplinarian because the father abandoned it.  It is a painful and hard situation for a woman.  She is having to “walk out” a role she was neither created or designed to wear.  Her mental health and often physical health suffer greatly.  Women often restore to raising their voices in frustration this creates an atmosphere of chaos and control were no one wins. 

I have not seen role reversals succeed, long term.  Every family has to do what’s best for their family and there are exceptions to every rule but generally reversing these natural states doesn’t work (or end) well.  I do know one family that, for a time, reversed them … somewhat.  Mom worked.  Dad homeschooled but their interactions with their children did not change.  Mom was still nurturer, Dad was disciplinarian.  Dad was pursuing an education and eventually the roles would be switched back to a more natural pattern.

Also, Mom’s (generally) are not their teen sons physical equally.  There comes a time in a teenager/young adult’s life (especially a boy) when physical strength may be necessary whether to defend yourself or your standard, enforce a boundary or protect yourself from rebellious anger, which can be very dangerous.   Simply knowing a stronger person is standing in front of a rebellious child and will not allow them to become the physical aggresor, if they choose to, stops a great deal of drama. 

When a child will not listen, when Mom has exhausted all her patience, when Mom has no more ideas to persuade a rebel, when their son or daughter is doggedly determined to have their way, at any costs, Mom needs Dad.

Dad’s justice is logical, swift and uncaring of a rebellious child’s current tantrums.  It is rooted in deep love.  He pulls out the “big guns” and uses them.  In virtually all instances, justice is swift, peace is restored relatively quickly and an errant child has (hopefully) learned a lesson that saves them from a life of destruction and helped develop character that will save them from a life of pain. 

This scenario also creates respect, again, for Mom.  When a child rebels it is an act of gross disrespect, among other things.  When Mom is supported and backed up, respect is restored and a healthy mom-child relationship can continue.  Unchecked rebellion erodes respect on all sides and destroys relationships. 

When Daddy’s not home … it’s a different outcome. Very, very different.

Children without the final boundary of Dad’s discipline do not develop proper self control, maturity, work ethic or responsibility, to name a few.  Their physical body matures but their soul, (mind, will and emotions) in many ways, never matures past the adolescent refusing to clean their room because “it’s not fun”.

They begin to see Mom’s constant efforts at discipline and teaching as nagging and self centered demands for physical help in the home.  They begin to resent her, the only authority in their life, and respect for authority erodes dangerously. 

The human spirit unchecked is a dangerous thing.  It develops into fearful adults who feel inadequate for adult life.  They look for something else to fill the “Daddy” void, usually they Government.  They become emotionally invested in seeking subsidies, aid and hand outs to shore up their fearful heart and (often) failing finances and responsibilities.  They lack the self control to maintain stable relationships. They can not maintain responsibilities and commitments because they have convinced themselves if it isn’t “fun” it is “mean” and others are cruel to expect them to follow through or do it. 

A society that develops like this shows great similarities to a grade school playground.  Bullies rule, intolerance grows and truth is irrelevant.

I felt a “nudge” this morning from Holy Spirit.  He began showing me all of the above and then He said.  “It’s time for Daddy to step in with this rebellious American society. 

Holy Spirit “Mom” has been patient, has been caring, has tried everything to turn the errant and destructive nature of the “children”. 

Nothing has worked. 

They refuse to listen. 

Their discipline must be administered from a higher level, at an intensity “Mom” is not capable of doing or can not emotionally handle. 

It will be painful. 

It is painful for the child. 

It is painful for the parent.

It is the only option left to stop their destruction. 

It is, unfortunately, vital for the “child’s” survival.

It is a vital and necessary step in our society for Daddy to step in and hand out some consequences.  It is  the (ultimate) loving, firm and strong parenting act to weigh their futures against their comfort and administer the justice and consequences needed to challenge, deter and reverse an erring society’s downward path. 

I felt He showed me this because there are some I love, very much. in this situation. 

I felt he was telling me to prepare my heart.  It will be painful to watch.  It is going to be painful for them to go through.  There is just no avoiding it, at this point.  Daddy has to step in.  Holy Spirit has been loving, faithful and persistent to try to bring them to repentance.  They have refused.  They will be destroyed, if He does not.

I am not talking about “Gross Judgment and Destruction” many are preaching and declaring over our nation.  NO.  I do not agree with that line of thinking, at all.  As surely as God would have saved Sodom and Gomorrah, He will save America.

No, this will be a very personal, one on one, specific and stern discipline from their Heavenly Father to them. 

He also showed me to pray.  Pray they repent, Holy Spirit softens their heart and opens their eyes and ears.  Pray they hear and respond to Father’s discipline quick and early to shorten the duration of the consequences.  Pray God heals the wounds in their heart that keep them from obeying Him .

Time is short.

Eternity is long.

Daddy God is playing for (the ultimate) “Keeps”,

His child.